


House Of Gold & Bones

by Whitefeathers92



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Dabbles, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-08
Updated: 2013-11-20
Packaged: 2017-12-22 20:25:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/917672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whitefeathers92/pseuds/Whitefeathers92
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fem!SamxCastiel dabbles. That's really all you need to know.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Gone Sovereign

**Author's Note:**

> The title is based on the new Stone Sour albums. This chapter is set in season 5 Episodes 17-22. It's a dabble. Hope you all like em!

It’s safe to say I care about him more then I should. Castiel maybe an ex-angel of the Lord, but he’s still an angel all the same. After everything with the Whore of Babylon I know that he hates me at worse and tolerates me at best. I wish I could say that any feelings I have for him were stomped out, but they weren't.

Abomination.

What an ugly word. True in my case, but still ugly. I haven’t told my brother about my feelings for the angel on his shoulder. It’s for the best, I think. I can practically hear the disgusted shock in his voice.

 

‘Man, Sammy, what is with you banging monsters?’

 

Castiel isn't a monster, but he’s not human; and at the end of the day that’s all Dean cares about. After everything, Van Nuys and Adam, Gabriel and Elysian Fields, Brady and Pestilence, I’m standing in front of Lucifer’s burnt out vessel, armed with the Horseman’s rings.

 

 **Lucifer:** ”What do you say, Samantha? A fiddle of gold against you soul says I’m better then you.”

 

 

I gritted my teeth as I felt Dean go rigid next to me; knowing he’ll want to back out of the plan, quickly cut him off before he open his mouth.

 

 **Me:** ”So he knows. Doesn't change anything and we don’t have any other choice.”

 

Closing my eyes, taking a deep breath, I said ‘Yes’ and everything went white.


	2. Tired

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter in this dabble!

I don't know what is more mortifying, the fact that I was running around soulless or the fact that I prostituted myself out to Castiel. That was the only clear memory I have after waking up in Bobby's panic room, it's also the reason I didn't hug Cas. Awkward was a big understatement and my own embarrassment stopped me from feeling too bad about the hurt expression on the angels face.

Then Dean and I found out about Castiel's deal with Crowley. Dean was pissed, but I was more disappointed than angry. So I called out to the angel as soon as Dean left to go to a bar and begged Cas not to go through with the deal.

 **Me:** "I know better than anyone about what you're doing, Cas. A demon shows up and it offers you a deal that are almost too good to be true. It's the same crap I went through with Ruby, Cas."

The angel crossed his arms and frowned at me.

 **Castiel:** "This is different."

I threw my hands up in aggravation.

 **Me:** "How?! How is it different, Castiel?!"

He sneered.

 **Castiel:** "I'm not you, Samantha."

I felt like someone punched me in the gut and one word echoed in my head.

 _Abomination_.

My vision started to swim; oh god, I'm going to cry! Quickly turning my back on him, I tried to keep myself from falling apart. The sound of fluttering wings filled the room and I was left in the motile alone. After trying to keep my composer, I decided to spend my time packing my gear. But I never did that night. Instead, I slumped into a chair and cried.

Now, the wall that held the memories of the caged at bay, crumbled, and the one who made it so is proclaiming he is their new god.


	3. Taciturn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is for season 7! This thing is almost done! If you have an episode you're like to see Fem!Sam in, tell me! I'll see if I can't make a one shot out of it!

This is not the way I thought I'd be spending my last day on earth; on a couch, in between a crazy angel and a demon watching Disney's Peter Pan. Meg left half way through me explaining to Cas that in this version, Tinker Bell doesn't kill Wendy; so that left us in comfortable silence afterwards. Unlike Castiel, my focus isn't on the movie; it's on something much darker. My time in the Cage was a living horror show thanks to Lucifer. The falling angel would go through stages, one moment he'd be attentive and protect me from Michael's wrath, the next he'd be cruel and join his brother in the torture of my soul. I have no doubt I have Stockholm syndrome, thanks to Lucifer. I was torn from my thoughts when Castiel began to nuzzle my neck. I made a startled noise in the back of my throat as I realized that our positions had changed. Instead of us sitting on the couch, we're laying down on it. I'm on my back; Cas is on his side, tucked between me and the back of the couch with his head resting on my shoulder. Castiel took my right hand, laced it with his own and placed our hands on my stomach.

 

  **Catiel:** "You seem troubled again. Of course, that's a primary aspect of your personality, so sometimes I ignore it."

 

 Chuckling, I slid my free hand through his hair and began to massage his scalp.

 

  **Me** **:** "You and Dean have that in common at the very least."

 

 He gave an irritated huff and said my name in the same tone dad used when I was in trouble. I sighed.

 

  **Me** **:** "It's just... If this goes South; if Crowley really did give us the wrong blood and we kamikaze Dick, I just wanted to tell you that I..."

 

 My throat closed up as Castiel looked at me with curious, but absent eyes, and I knew I couldn't tell him about my feelings. So instead I pressed my lips against the crown of his head and murmured into his hair.

 

  **Me:** "I forgive you, Cas."

 

 The angel practicality glowed with happiness and I promised myself that after we gank Dick and get Castiel back into the right frame of mind, I'll tell him that I love him.

 

 Too bad life is never that simple. Dean and Castiel are gone and Crowley took Kevin.

I'm on my own now.


	4. Blue Smoke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now time for the 8 season! I twisted somethings, because Sam is a girl and it's only half of the season. I hope you all like it!

This pasted year without Castiel or Dean has been hell for me. But then again, being Garth’s encyclopedia of weirdness, (As Dean so lovely put it, God, I miss him), isn’t so bad. See ever since I lost focus with that wendigo, Garth band me from hunting. Grimacing, I gently rubbed my scared right side. I was sitting in front of my laptop in a motel in Texas, researching more for the salt and burn me and Garth are doing when I got an E-mail. It’s coordinates to Rufus’s cabin in Montana. I’ll check it out in the morning; if I find a lead on the ghost.

 

Dean was alive; he’s acting like a jackass to me for not looking for him, for not really hunting anymore and for not knowing were Kevin is; even if it’s for the prophet own good. I’m not going to tell him that the memories from the cage are making it hard for me to concentrate. Even after the cursed coin I still haven’t told him, though Garth is pushing me to do so. Also, it seems Dean is the only one who can have can have a supernatural friend we don’t kill. The vampire; Benny, gets a free pass , but Amy, who was just trying to save her son, deserves to be ganked? My brother is a hypocrite.

 

I was relieved and ecstatic when Castiel was back, but with Kevin being kidnapped by Crowley; I think the welcome back will have to be later.

 

We’re in Louisiana, on a vampire hunt that I am 80% sure is Benny’s doing; until I got a text from Garth telling me he was in trouble, so I left the hunt to Dean and shagged ass to Arkansas. Turns out Dean had sent that text just to get me away from Benny, so I spent my time more wisely by getting drunk at a bar in Little Rock waiting for my brother. When he found me, I was buzzed and spoiling for a fight.

**Dean:** ”Martin was an idiot. Crazy son of bitch didn’t give Benny a choice. It was self-defense.”

 

I gave him a look of disbelief.

**Me:** ”Seriously, Dean? That’s the story you’re going with? The vampire was the real victim here?”

 

He shifts his weight like he was uncomfortable before sighing.

**Dean:** ”Hey, like it or not, that’s the truth, okay? There was a time when that actually meant something.”

 

I snorted; downed my shot of whiskey and glared at my brother.

**Me:** ”Yeah, yeah. No kidding.”

 

A confused look flitted a crossed his face and asked what I meant.

**Me:** ”You think this is just about Benny?”

**Dean:** ”What the hell are you talking about?”

 

I snarled at him,

**Me:** ”What the hell do you think I’m talking about?”

 

I can see the pieces falling into place; I can tell by the way his eyes widen with realization.

**Dean:** ”Garth? I mean, I’m glad that you’ve stopped banging monsters, but come on, Sammy. I sent you that text ‘cause I need you to-to-“

 

The look I must have given him had to be bad. May have been because I was imagining taking a beer bottle to his head.

**Me:** ”You need me to what? To tear ass to Arkansas. To be afraid that what happened to Jessie, what happened to… everybody that we care about might have happened to him?”

 

Dean just sighed and then shrugged.

**Dean:** ”What do you want to hear, Sammy? That I was wrong? Fine. I was wrong. Okay? But if you'd have just heard me out, if you'd have trusted me, all of this could have been avoided. “

 

I gritted my teeth; he’s acting like I’m the one being difficult.

**Me:** ”You didn't want me to trust you. You wanted me to trust Benny, and I can't do that.”

 

My brother crossed his arms over his chest.

**Dean:** ”Right. Okay, well, then, what the hell do we do now?”

 

I scrubbed a hand over my face before tossing some bills down on the bar.

**Me:** ”Look, I don’t know. Just… if you need me, I’ll be in Missouri with Kevin.”

 

I walked out of that bar feeling worse than when I came in, but, like a true Winchester; I blamed the alcohol.

 

Kevin kicked me out of the boat because my pacing got on his nerves, so I found a hunt in Wyoming and left; not without wringing a promise from the prophet to look after himself though. But then Castiel showed up in my motel room when I was researching and told me he need some help to get ‘Heaven's most adorable angel’ back. Dean’s words, not Cas’s. I told him I would and started packing my gear. The blue eyed angel had taking a seat at the table I was doing my research on and asked about my memories from the cage, also about Garth. I tried to put it in words he’d understand.

**Me:** ”You took the hallucinations away, Cas, but not what Lucifer and Michael did to me. They beat me, they raped me and tore me apart, but with the whole Leviathan problem; I was able to keep it together.”

 

I sat down in a chair opposite of the dark hair angel; I put a hand on his knee and gave it a squeeze when his face crumpled in grief.

**Me:** ”I forgave you already, Castiel. The wall would’ve fell either way, remember?”

 

After a moment of reassuring Cas that I wasn’t angry at him, I started talking more about what happen this last year alone and realized that I was telling the angel before Dean. But I couldn’t stop.

**Me:** ”It started out rocky. I was literally losing days at a time since you and Dean disappeared. One minute I’m talking to Garth and the next I’m curled up in a corner with no freaking clue how I got there. You see, Dean never wanted to talk about the cage, but Garth wanted me to talk about it; so I did, and it helped. It really did.”

 

I got up, patted his shoulder and grabbed my duffle.

**Me:** ”Come on, Cas. Let’s get Alfie back.”

 

The dark hair angel nodded and we were gone.


	5. Do Me A Favor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to thank shinigami_yumi for letting me take a line from her story, Möbius to start this chapter up. Thank ya, shinigami_yumi for indulge me! For my readers, read shinigami_yumi's Möbius, because it's what inspired this story!

We got to the factory that Crowley was holding Alfie, seeing how Dean has the demon killing knife, Castiel armed me with his Angel blade, so me and Dean went in, plowed through the demons and disabled the anti-Angel sigil. But something went wrong. There is nothing Castiel regrets more than the sheer number of his siblings whose blood he spilled. He wouldn’t have killed Samandriel, especially not in self-defense, never mind that Samandriel wasn’t in any condition to be attacking anybody at the time. So when he left the way he did, it made me and Dean worry. Also, when we got back to Rufus’s cabin, I came clean about what happen to me when he was in purgatory and while he looked guilty, we were able to hash it out. I also told him that if he trusted Benny, than I won’t make it problem for him.

 

Meeting up with Charlie was good, getting to meet our grandfather from dads side was great, and getting a key to a bunker full of magic and monster lore; priceless.

 

 

As Dean was nesting, he got a weird phone call from Kevin. Worried, we headed out to Missouri to check up on him, but as we were about to walk out the door; I doubled back for the burgers Dean made. What can I say? My brother is a great cook. When we got to the boat, we have our guns drawled, but it wasn’t need; Kevin was just puking in the bath-room. Putting my gun in the back of my jeans, I slipped into the rest-room with the prophet; wrapping my right arm around the kids waist to keep him up-right and with my left hand I rubbed his back. Dean made a cradle robbing joke; I gave him a bitch-face and told him to get a damp rag. After I helped the kid clean himself up, he told us that he found a way to shut Hell, also about how to go about it. The first trial is to gut a Hellhound and bathe in its blood. So I researched to find someone who sold their golden ticket for an eternity in the hot box while Dean went out to get supplies and the prophet showered. As soon as Kevin got out of the bath-room,I gave him a lecture on taking better care of himself and I also blew up at my brother for giving a self-medicated, sleep deprived prophet pep pills. Of course, this opened the door to more cradle robbing jokes, but it was cut short, because we had to shag-ass to get to Shoshone, Idaho to check out this family, the Cassity’s.

 

By the time got to the family and found a way to see the Hellhounds, the Hounds already killed two people in the family. So we handcuff them in the living room and then Dean tells me that he’s doing the trials without my help.

 

 **Dean:** ”Look, you see a light at the end of this ugly-ass tunnel. I don't. But I tell you what I do know, it's that I'm gonna die with a gun in my hand. 'Cause that's what I have waiting for me; that's all I have waiting for me. I want you to get out. I want you to have a life; become a chick of Letters, whatever. You, with a husband and kids and-and grandkids, living till you're fat, smelly and can’t remember the name of that bastard you married; that is my perfect ending, and it's the only one that I'm gonna get. So I'm gonna do these trials. I'm gonna do them alone-end of story. You're staying here. I'm going out there. If landshark comes knocking, you call me. If you try to follow me, I'm gonna put a bullet in your damn leg.”

 

Before I could even open my mouth, he turned and walked out the door. Also, sadly, Alice had tried to run away and I went after her. I sent her back to the house because I saw a Hound making its way to the barn, so I followed it. It’s a good thing I did trailed that Hound; it had taking a swipe at Dean’s side. I got its attention by shooting it, when it turned on me I made a dive for the demon killing knife, it jumped on me, send me into the ground on my back, I held it by the throat, took up the knife and jammed it to the hilt into the Hellhounds chest and dragged the knife down to its belly. Successfully bathing in its blood. Well, that part was easy.

 

Ellie patched Dean up, also, my brother had reassured her that she won’t end up in hell for the deal she made and asked her to give us a moment. Of course this turned into Dean trying the spell, then when it didn’t work, he demanded that we find another Hellhound to kill and I told him that that’s not gonna happen.

 

 **Dean:** ”Sammy, I didn't pass the test.”

 

I sighed and straighten up.

 

 **Me:** ”But I did… And I’m doing the rest of them.”

 

He was speechless for about a minute before he exploded.

 

 **Dean:** ”My ass you are!”

 

I shrugged.

 

 **Me:** ” I'm closing the gates. It's a suicide mission for you. I want to slam hell shut, too, okay? But I want to survive it. I want to live, and so should you. You were right, okay? I see light at the end of this tunnel. And I'm sorry you don't, I am.”

 

I took his hands into mine and gave him an imploring look.

 

 **Me:** ”But it's there. And if you come with me, I can take you to it.”

 

He pulled his hands out of mine, grabs my shoulders, and gave me a small shake. He told me to be smart and I shrugged out of his hold.

 

 **Me:** ”I AM smart, and so are you. You're not a grunt, Dean. You're a genius, when it comes to lore, and you're the best damn hunter I have ever seen- better than me, better than dad. I believe in you, Dean. So, please, please believe in me, too.”

 

After a moment’s pause he gave me the spell, which I took with a sigh. I straighten up, taking a breath and said the spell. A second went by and I felt like someone was burning me up from the inside. In my hast to turn my back on Dean so he didn’t have to see me in pain, I fell to my knees and bit back a groan of pain. I dropped the paper that had the Enochian spell; that’s when I noticed that the veins in my right hand and arm were highlighted with a bright white light. I can vaguely hear Dean questioning me with a worried tone in his voice. I was panting by the time the light disappeared from my arm, grimacing, I grabbed the paper, stood up and turned to face my brother.

 

 **Me:** ”I'm good. I'm okay. I can do this.”

 

I exhaled sharply before I wrapped an arm around Dean’s shoulder and steered him out of Ellie’s room.

 

 **Me:** ”Come on, let’s head home. And I’m driving.”

 

He was worried, but he still gave me the keys. 


End file.
